Honey, I'm heading down to the "Breastaraunt" for a couple beers... yes, I'm serious.

Ok. I've trademarked a lot of goofy things. But, this one (tank) tops them all. According to a recent article on MSN Money, Doug Guller, owner of Bikinis Sports Bar and Grill, has officially trademarked the word "breastaraunt."

Guller says he wants to "take back the derogatory term," according to CultureMap Houston. As the country's cleavage-and-chicken-wings industry continues to grow, Bikinis Sports Bar and Grill is staking its claim as America's only Breastaraunt.

This has to have Hooter's, Tilted Kilt and all those other reputable chicken joints shaking in their heels... which I wouldn't mind seeing.

Honestly, I didn't realize there was anything "derogatory" about the concept. Nor did I realize that "Breastaraunt" was actually a term people were using. But, I applaud it ... them ... whatever.

As long as they serve cold beer, I'm buying.

Cheers to the Breastaraunt! Without you, I wouldn't have to lie to my wife about where I'm going to watch the game.

Free Beer for a Free Spirit ... #SolTies

I've been waiting for the day this drawer full of ties would pay off ...

Thanks to Sol, my free spirit is finally being rewarded. I would gladly trade any one of these for a frosty cold one. Now all I have to do is travel to London with a suitcase full of ties. Cheers!

Rejoice! The "Beer Belly" is just a myth!!!

You're not fat because you drink beer. You're fat because you're lazy. Finally! The truth comes out. Now, I don't have to feel so bad about partaking in my favorite libation. Granted, I've lost an excuse for why I'm carrying an extra 20 lbs. around with me, but who cares. It's not beer's fault. And, for that I'm happy. Obviously I'm not happy that I'm overweight. I'm happy that beer doesn't have to take the fall.

A new report by someone who does scientific things says that wine is much, much worse for you than beer (which is cause for concern, since I drink wine too ... but I digress). And orange juice is even worse that wine! And, that's a fruit.

Beer has fewer calories per 100ml than wine, spirits, and even orange juice, it is claimed. 

“Unfortunately beer has this image as a high-calorie, high-fat drink,” Dr O’Sullivan told The Times. “It is very unfair.” 

The report “Beer & calories; a scientific review” points out that the drink contains vitamins, fibre, and antioxidants and minerals such as silicon which may help to lower your risk of osteoporosis. 

Look at that - vitamins, fibre, antioxidants and minerals ... beer is like a health drink. Throw out the Green Tea. I'm drinking beer.

Check out the full article from The Telegraph, here. It's even in their Health section. Now, I may be jumping to conclusions here, but for me that's all I need to know...

BEER IS HEALTHY. SCIENCE PROVED IT.

T-shirt idea? Maybe. I'll be wearing mine in an Xtra-Small, because with the way I drink I'll be shedding the lbs. fast as lightning.



Cheers!

The Official Beer Glove Crew 

Who says you can't mix beer and religion?

Or was the saying you can't mix religion and politics? I'm not sure. Maybe it was you can't mix religion and weather? In any case, I do enjoy the idea of praying for beer. I also think that Jesus would've been one heck of a beer pong player. 

A Sign of Good Times

I love the small print: "cans and kegs also work in a pinch." 

I concur. From our home to yours, let's drink. 

Makes Me Thirsty For Father's Day Breakfast

Rogue brewery has teamed up with the Portland-based Voodoo Doughnut shop to create a breakfast beer (yes, I realize it can be consumed at any time, but it makes me really want breakfast) that's got my mouth watering. Bacon Maple Ale is available in a 750ml bottle for the low price of only $13.00 (at Rogue's online store).

The down side is that it costs $20 to have it shipped. The up side is that the swine-inspired pink bottle is pretty sweet. And if I decide to have it shipped, it can be here by Father's Day ... which is when I intend to drink it.


But, I'm going to be a bit more thrifty. I hope I can find it in St. Louis, and I hope to enjoy it this Sunday morning with a pound of bacon, three eggs over easy and a maple long john from Donut Drive-In. God Bless Father's Day! And God Bless Rogue Brewing! And God Bless doughnuts ... especially Voodoo Doughnuts! And God Bless America!

Of course I smell like I've been drinking all day, I just took a shower.

Yes, beer smells fantastic. And I'm sure we've all imagined the wonder of swimming in a pool of beer. But until I ran across Beer Soap (website), the idea of cleaning myself with beer never crossed my mind ... except, of course, pouring a little beer on scratches inflicted while chasing an errant washer into the bushes - St. Louis, you know what I'm talking about.

The best part is that they really have a Beer Soap flavor for just about every kind of beer drinker. So, if you're a PBR guy, they've got a soap for you. Or maybe a fruity microbrew is more your style? They've got a soap for you too. It might be a bit pricey by soap standards, ringing in around $7/bar. But I'd say it's definitely worth it for that beer drinker in your life. Hell, throw in a pair of Official Beer Gloves, and you've got yourself a lathering shower loofa that you wear on your hand. We might have to co-pack these beer brothers for the holidays?

The real benefit of this foaming shower friend is that it's the perfect cover for when you're caught sloshed with no real excuse:

Wife (or over-bearing girlfriend): "Where have you been?!! We were supposed to be at my parent's house for dinner three hours ago. I know it doesn't take 9 hours to play a round of golf! You reek!!! Are you completely wasted?"

You: "No way, Babbie. I'm nod runk. I was upstairsh tage'n a shower in that seer boap you got me. I'll be ready to go to yours paren house after I take a quick nap."

Instant forgiveness!

Oh, and that reminds me - I need to put cup holders in the shower. That sweet smell of barley and hops always makes me thirsty...

Beer US (Virtual Drinking Tour?)

I'm a fan of many here, but I'd choose Schlafly over Boulevard any day. Of course, that's probably my St. Louis talking. Maybe my goal for the summer will be to virtually drink my way across the country? Time to hit the liquor store...

Funny, I never considered drinking out of the Liberty Bell before...

Artprint by Dan Grzeca

Dear Supermarket, Really?

I love beer and meats as much as the next guy, but really? I'm not sure this is appetizing. And why only one beer? SUPERMARKET FAIL.

Time to hit the liquor store...

Yum... Ice Cream Makes Me Hoppy

Well, I don't think they've figured out how to create a 6.6% bowl of ice cream, but they seem to have wrangled some of our favorite mini keg flavors to be served with a spoon. Frozen Pints is taking the best of beer and serving it in a bowl. Yum.

I, for one, can't wait to explore the flavor infusion of a beers-cream float. One part Guinness, two scoops of Malted Milk Chocolate Stout... three cheers for deliciousness.

But this isn't the first exploration of beer on the freezer frontier. The Beer Bistro in Toronto has been experimenting with beer-flavored ice cream for a while. Maybe Frozen Pints will put this micro-category on the map... actually, forget the map, put that stuff in my deep freeze.

Check out some of their flavors. And don't forget to pick up a pint for that next 21st Birthday celebration.

Cheers!

Finally! An iPhone Accessory That Makes Sense ... for beer drinkers.

They've done it with paint can openers and sandals, necklaces and belt buckles. But now, a couple of Aussies have taken bottle opening to new, technological heights. Introducing, the Opena (pre-order now for only $39.99) for your iPhone 4! 

I'm pretty sure this has happened to all of us at some point: You've grabbed a beer out of the cooler, and you go to twist off the cap only to discover it needs a bottle opener. You frantically search your jean pockets, only to find a crinkled dollar bill, $.26 in change, a paperclip, some lint and your iPhone. How embarrassing?!! 

Don't ever let this happen to you again. Own one of the world's most expensive church keys, and put your iPhone to some really good use. Practicality has never tasted so good...

In Honor of My Wife

Ladies, I feel for you. Being pregnant, abstaining from beer and wine, growing a baby inside of you... it doesn't look easy.

And even though this image is promoting a non-acoholic brewski, it does look strange to me. Last week at a pool party, I had my prego-wife hold my beer while I ran to the bathroom. She said it was a strange feeling for her, holding the beer being pregnant, catching glances from others there, silently being judged. She felt like she had to explain, "I'm just holding it" to those around her. 

Of course, I just laughed and said, "if you want a beer, have one." Lucky for me (and my future baby-to-be), she's doing this pregnancy thing "by the book." Everything in moderation; that's my stance. One taste, one beer, one glass of wine... or whatever, it can't be that bad. Women have been drinking, smoking, doing crack (well, I've read about it anyway) and their babies have been adding to our population since the invention of alcohol, tobacco and crack. 

So I'm not advocating or denouncing a woman's choice one way or the other. Who am I to say you can't have a taste of the golden nectar we call beer? This is America. Worse decisions have been made in the past, and I think we're just fine. 

So, cheers to the ladies out there growing the next generation inside their bellies. Whether or not you imbibe, you deserve our appreciation and thanks. Salud!

It's a lifestyle, right?

Beer is Culture

Two things to say before I crack open a cold one...

First, kudos to Sixpoint Brewing (a Brooklyn, NY craft brewer who is embracing the art and culture their neighbors are creating) for establishing the annual "Beer is Culture" art & design exhibition. It's a fun way to have fun on facebook and in real life too, I would imagine. Check out their exhibition tab, here. No. Wait. First, see where you can buy a case of Sixpoint's finest, then check out their exhibition. It's always more fun to enjoy something a brewery is creating by enjoying something a brewery has created. Anyone following?

Second, I love the infographic design that Melissa Schmechel put together. And if I'm reading this correctly, which I think I am. It must be time for me to enjoy a beer now..

Beer Tastes Tasty

Damn right, it does! Cheers to Alex Perez for brewing this sweet art print. Buy it for $35.

A Long Time Ago... R2-D2 would have made a great designated driver

If you're just joyriding in your X-Wing fighter, I can see bringing a six pack along for the ride. Outer space would probably be pretty cool with a buzz. And I'd have to imagine that your R2 unit would be doing most of the driving anyway. Those little droids are so amazing.

Cheers, Luke! You've saved the galaxy from Imperial darkness. You deserve a frosty cold one.

Walgreens Takes Cheap Beer to a Whole New Level.

$.50/can. That's about as good as it gets. These are better than Sunday afternoon turkey shoot prices. $6.00 for a 12-pack... that likely packs a hangover you won't want to wake up from. I can't wait to give this swill a whirl. Look for it at your next frat party. It's called Big Flats, and they call it a "premium brew." But I guess you can put the word "premium" on anything.

It kindof reminds me of Icehouse.

 

Here's what the Chicago Tribune says about it:

Walgreen Co. isn't just selling alcohol again. They're also making it.

The Deerfield-based drugstore chain has quietly rolled out a private-label brew called Big Flats 1901, which is in more than 4,600 of the chain's 7,655 U.S. locations. Walgreens has been stocking Chicago-area stores as alcohol licenses are approved.

If the name isn't enough to tempt you, the price might be: about 50 cents per can. Prices will vary by market, and the beer will be available in states where private-label alcohol is legal.

"In this tough economy, consumers are looking for value and ways to make their money go (further)," a Walgreens spokesman said in an e-mail. "Big Flats 1901 offers our customers a premium lager at a great price."

Big Flats is made by Novato, Calif.-based Winery Exchange, which also provides private-label alcohol for chains like Costco Wholesale and Trader Joe's.

I say: This is the perfect beer for the refrigerator switch out. Bring a 12-Pack of Big Flats to the party. Then enjoy whatever your host has in his cooler. But please, don't pull this stunt on me. I hate finding a fridge full of leftover Schlitz after a card game.

How Beer Saved the World!

The guy in the promo says that "if it wasn't for beer, we wouldn't have the pyramids." Yeah right. I think  the ancient aliens would tend to disagree.

I'm guessing the Discovery Channel has officially run out of content.